The Misadventure of Bow Legged Leeka and Kermit the Frog…
Yes, I know that this little old frog seems harmless, but lets really look at the culprit. Yes, he is small and yes, he seems helpless, but this little bugger has harassed me quite a bit. Hanging out in doorways waiting to pounce on his prey. Many times have we tussled…usually in a panic but I always prevail. He has infiltrated my living room, bedroom and doorways. I’ve had casualties such as key chains, brooms and shoes to say the least. I’ve been displaced in my own home because of Kermit…but in the end, I was victorious. Needless to say from the photo, he hasn’t given up and is still waiting…for his revenge.
Alrighty! For those who may have a hard time reading the scrawl on this little piece of paper, I will help you out. It says, “I Love My Mommy. My Daddy Loves Dogs.” This scathing observation was recorded by our resident poet, Doodle, when she was 4 years old. We laughed about it for days, but in my infinite wisdom I tore the prose from the notebook in which she had scribbled it and saved it on the refridgerator. I know you’re thinking, “What a sentimental mom!” Please don’t get confused! As the laughter rang through the house, I knew that this seemingly benign piece of whimsy would someday serve as evidence. Evidence to dispel the apparently popular conception that we in the Cox house are simply CRAZY for each other! Well, I mean…..we ARE crazy for each other….but, even a CHILD can see that there is one love that trumps all…..dogs. Devon….loves….dogs. This is something that goes unquestioned at SRB. Now the actual relevance of this tidbit of information will reveal itself in due course. But I needed to set this up properly so you know from whence the rest will come!
Now, let me be fair. I love dogs too! I mean it’s serious. For Valentine’s Day this year I was still recouperating from the flu. Devon asked me what I wanted and the only thing I could come up with was some Italian food and us sitting in front of the television watching The Westminster Kennel Club Show! Seriously! That’s all I wanted!! There are many breeds that we admire for many different reasons. But a good looking dog is gonna get our attention no matter the type! So, what is so PROFOUND about Kaiya’s first attempt at haiku is NOT that Devon loves dogs. It’s that in her humble opinion, Daddy loves dogs the way that SHE loves ME! The love connection between her dad and myself doesn’t seem to register at all!
Kids are painfully honest and I think Devon was amazed that his love for canines was so OBVIOUS!!! What can I say? The Kids definitely keep it real! More to come, y’all…..
Beauty Is Diverse was created in December 2009 to showcase the diversity of women from various ethnic backgrounds working as models in the fashion industry.
Beauty Is Diverse takes an in-depth look at models from South America, the Caribbean,Africa, and Asia who are working their way up in the changing face of fashion. Beauty Is Diverse is more than just the color of ones skin it’s about our cultures, languages and lifestyles.
There were several issues I had to settle before I did “The Big Chop”! Issue Number One: "How do I prep myself for the cultural kickback on letting go of my long locks of relaxed hair?"
My relaxer was installed every 4-6 weeks by my Dominican sisters (whom I still fiercely believe are thebaddest chicks on the PLANET for a blow out!). Growing my hair has never been an issue and I think that is because I never obsessed over it. My philosophy has always been that hair just grows. So, let it do its thing and if you don’t like how its looking, get a bossy hair cut! Unfortunately, I was painfully aware that one of the features that was always casually mentioned in my physical description by others was that my hair (paired with my skin tone) make me look like a Dominican! Hmmm. Now, I know that was supposed to be a compliment. But that is what made me think the most. Why wouldthat be a compliment? Why would it never be a compliment to say how someone’s hair makes them look like a Black girl? Was the concept of just having typical (if there is such a thing) Black hair social aesthetic suicide? Would the same people who showered me with vain glory and compliments do so if my hair was just…me?
There was something disturbing the heart of me when it came to my hair that I just couldn’t pinpoint. This coming from a chick who has rocked Jheri Curls, Leisure Curls, Wave Nouveau, and relaxers! This coming from a chick who grew her hair down past her shoulder blades and then cut it a la Toni Braxton! Let’s not even start on hair color!!! I think that even as a child I knew something was wrong with needing a “touch up” to be myself. Now, just to be clear, I don’t have a problem with other girls rocking their relaxers….do you! But that is my point…it was never me. It was a me that was chosen for me at a young age and that I was being CONSTANTLY told by society (yes, I mean Black folks!) made me pretty! And the worst part of it is that I did NOT naturally possess the silky, open curls that would (in the opinion of the same Black folks!) justify my letting go of processing my hair. I felt like I was trapped in a very dysfunctional cycle and my own people were perpetuating it! The final straw was when my 4 yr. old daughter let me know in no uncertain terms that she wanted long, beautiful hair like her FILIPINA classmate! She then buried me with the observation that her hair was not pretty like myhair and she wanted to make her hair like mine! Checkmate.
Romans 12:2 ”Do not be conformed to this world,but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Now this verse is talking about the renewing of your mind by the acceptance of Jesus Christ’s love and redemption! However, it is profound that the principle applies to every aspect of your life if you are ever to be 100% Natural from the inside out. It does not say be transformed that you will be more acceptable to man. Or in the case of we the Sisterhood, men! It says transforming the mind will help us to discern what is good and acceptable and perfect in God’s sight. Basically, transformation allows you to be able to blossom into the being that He, the Master Artist, had in mind when carving you in your mother’s womb. Some may say that God is not concerned with the outside appearance of us. And to some degree that is true. But I find it hard pressed to believe that a God who created such a vast variety of flowers, birds, butterflies and other colorful, graceful, awe striking things would not find simple pleasure in His ULTIMATE creation (yes, that would be YOU!) intelligently and intentionally expressing unashamed satisfaction with the vessel in which he planted our souls!
Solution to Issue Number One: "Transform my mind!"
Here it is. Another set of random thoughts from a random woman living what may appear to be a random life! But, for those of us who believe in God, we know nothing is random. We have an ingenious Lord who has handcrafted an intricate lifetime for us to experience before ultimately rejoining Him in eternity. This is a breathtaking concept. And sometimes in the vastness of that concept we lose track of the simplicity of our current existence! So, this blog is dedicated to the Beauty of the Everyday.
There is a new trend today in becoming more “Natural” in how we live. From lifestyle to health & beauty….going natural is completely hip! At the risk of being a total wet blanket, I think it is a little TOO hip!! This realization came to me as I began having more conversations with other women who are pursuing more natural means of living. Especially in the beauty department. Black women and their hair have a cosmic connection that I don’t think will ever totally be unravelled. I assumed that making the decision to stop processing one’s hair stemmed from being ready to accept the brilliant design that God executed in you and work with it rather than against it. Ummm…..that does not seem to be the case!! Apparently, the point of “going natural” is to define your coils, open your curl pattern, fight shrinkage, and lay down your edges! At least, that is the drive of over 70% of the natural hair conversations that come my way! I spent some time in contemplation on this and the following is the best I could come up with:
3 John 2:1 “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.” ESV
I think the key phrase is “as it goes well with your soul.” In otherwords, as your soul is growing and bearing beautiful fruit, I pray that it spills over into your tangible life. I pray that your spiritual growth seeps through your pores and shows up in your physical being! How secure…how positive… how splendid is that?!
Are we really willing to radiate beauty on the outside not simply by buying a new product but by connecting with the beauty God is trying to cultivate in us? It isn’t easy, but it is simple. There is a link between self-acceptance and then allowing God to do with the “self” whatever He likes. Not tailoring the “self” to what you “think” is beautiful. Yeah, Girlfriend. We are gonna do some work. Sure we will talk about all the ususal stuff…hair, skin, nails, kicks, threads, color….all the stuff that Black women love to pour tea over! But the REAL tea is this: Our we working so hard to create the beauty ourselves, or are we working hard to release the beauty within?
Lately, as I watch more and more commercials, I’ve noticed that black women are rocking their natural hair more. For a long time all I’ve seen were black women with silky straight hair. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but it definitely did not represent the other black women that wear their natural curls. Now, it seems that the majority of commercials that has a black woman or child in it, they’re wearing their natural coils or curls. They are happily dancing, singing and acting while showing confidence as the wear their natural God given textures.
They are not only in commercials but on TV and the Big screen. So many have made the transition to natural and have been open about it as well. It only makes me wonder if those that continue to use chemicals to relax their hair feel misrepresented in the media. I mean, could it be that now those who like to chemically relax there hair are now on the short end of the stick? The thought of this taking place is actually quite interesting and even somewhat baffling. For so long we have been striving to have a certain image that was not our own and thinking that what had was not good enough but now the tables have turned and we are embrace the beauty that is naturally given to us. Its a strange exchange but I think its definitely needed.